The Hangover
by 2l8k
Summary: Blown up toilets, female underwear, toxic mould and the name 'Barbara? ...Reno had a hell of a night last night. Shame he can't remember any of it. Now his boss is calling him to his office. *Warning* Contains spanking.


**I will warn you again, this story contains spanking of an adult. Don't like, don't read. It's simple :)**

**I got this idea after reading another story about Reno written by one of my friends. Reno gets drunk, has a bit too much fun, and has to face the consequences. It was fun to write and hopefully is fun to read :D This is just a oneshot so I doubt there'll be more... And also to finally fulfill the promise I made to someone who messaged me to put my FF7 story up on here. Hope this is everything you wanted :)**

**Disclaimer: Do not own anything of FF7 or any of its spin offs apart from one copy of each of the discs. Great games. Wish I did own them. More Vincent and Reno for all!  
**

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"Owww… My head…" Reno groaned, waking up and instantly regretting it. "Rude… How much did you make me drink last night?" He sat up, trying to quash the feelings of nausea in his stomach. "Rude?" He blinked around blearily, eventually coming to the conclusion that he was alone in the room. He rubbed his face in his hands, trying to remember what he did last night. He couldn't remember a thing!

"Reno? You actually dressed yet?" Elena's wry voice could be heard at the door.

"Yeah…" Reno murmured, wincing at the volume as he looked down at himself before gulping. He was dressed alright, but he didn't remember ever owning a bra or slinky black knickers! "No! No! Not dressed!" He amended far too late as Elena opened the door.

"Tseng wanted you to--- Are you wearing my knickers!?" She demanded. Reno swiftly pulled the quilt back up in a futile attempt to hide the offending items, wishing she wouldn't talk so loud.

"No! Uh… Rude musta got 'em as a joke," he responded, his voice cracking slightly, his throat dry.

"…Urgh… You..." The blonde started, shaking slightly with frustration before giving in. Reno was pretty sure he'd be hearing more about this later. "Tseng wanted to see you… Something about the men's toilets being blown up… A red-headed Turk running around peoples' bedrooms… Naked… The car going missing and a weird toxic mould appearing in his office."

"Wow! Last night musta been some night!" Reno exclaimed, wishing he could remember more of it. It was still very fuzzy… And for some unknown reason the name 'Barbara' kept popping into his head.

"Tseng doesn't seem to think so. Go see him. Now."

"Yeah, yeah," Reno replied dozily, head pounding. Why couldn't she just leave him alone?

"Five minutes," Elena warned, leaving. Reno got up and dressed unsteadily, proud of the fact he only fell over twice. The previous night really had to have been a damn good night!

Leaving Elena's discarded underwear on the floor, the red-headed Turk quickly swallowed two paracetomol before making his way over to Tseng's temporary office, a certain mould making it too dangerous to stay in his usual one. He rapped on the door, wincing as the noise seemed to reverberate back through his head – the paracetomol having no effect.

"That better be you, Reno," Tseng's voice could be heard. Reno winced. His boss sounded pissed off. He cautiously creaked open the door and edged in. Tseng stood with his back to the door, looking out of the window with his hands behind his back. "Close the door." Reno hesitantly did so before leaning heavily against it as the room seemed to sway.

Tseng turned round smartly to face him. Reno cringed. The calm Turk's nostrils were flared – the only sign Tseng ever gave of being angry.

"…Um… You wanted to see me?" Reno started.

"I didn't _want_ to see you. I'd be perfectly happy if I never saw you again," Tseng hissed. Reno had made him reach the end of his tether more than once recently.

"…Oh… Can I go?" Reno asked, desperate to get back to bed. Tseng crossed the admittedly small room in a few steps and grabbed the red-head by his wrist.

"Not until you've been taught a thing or two," he replied icily, forcing Reno over to the nearest chair and pulling him over his lap as he sat down. Reno felt his stomach heave as pressure was placed on it. "Reno, you will be _very_ sorry if you're sick," Tseng warned. Reno gulped, forcing his stomach to calm itself down.

"Urgh… What are you doing?" He groaned, the pressure on his stomach both worsening his headache and making it harder to speak.

"Something I'm betting your parents were always too drunk to do," Tseng answered, his voice deceptively calm.

"…I got punished. They once refused to give me booze for a week!" Reno protested, not liking this position one bit. Tseng scoffed.

"I've decided to try a different tactic… One that drives the message straight into where I'm starting to assume your brain is… Or at least very close to," Tseng muttered. Reno couldn't help but whimper as he felt Tseng place a hand on his upturned bottom.

"Tseng!…You…You like… M - I mean… Women, right?" He babbled. He cried out as the hand was lifted away and brought back down again sharply.

"Whether I like men or women is no business of yours," Tseng responded evasively. Reno tried to push himself up and away from his boss' lap but regretted it when Tseng simply pressed him down slightly harder, increasing the pressure on his stomach.

"I'm across your lap! You're touching my ass! I think it's some business of mine!" Reno cried, panicked, wincing as Tseng slapped his clothed rear harder.

"I figured this would get your attention," Tseng told him smugly, reaching under the captive Turk's trousers to undo his belt.

"Argh! I like women! I like women!" Reno protested but Tseng ignored him, slipping his belt out and pulling down his trousers and – by the looks of it – four day old boxers. They bunched around his ankles, preventing him from kicking his legs, which was a bonus. "Lemme go!"

The hand came slamming down, harder than steel onto the now unprotected backside.

"Honestly, Reno, you're not my type," Tseng said calmly. Reno froze.

"You're saying… I mean… Men?" He stammered, before yelping out as the hand came down three times in quick succession. He was almost too shocked to feel it. Of all the men he knew, he didn't think _Tseng_ would be!

Tseng activated some Materia, speeding up the pace with the help of magic. Reno's mind was brought sharply back to his unfortunate bottom and Tseng's unending assault.

"Ow! I won't get… Too drunk! Ever again! I swear! Ever! See a bottle of b- ow! That hurts! Stop!" Reno cried, struggling wildly. His efforts didn't faze Tseng in the slightest, merely serving to churn up his stomach and make his head pound. The black-haired Turk continued to slap the younger red-head, effortlessly holding him down. Reno was rapidly replacing Tseng on his list of hated people. His boss was now between Hojo and Cloud, somewhere right near the top.

Tseng eventually got bored of causing Reno pain this way. It was hurting his hand, which really was not part of the bargain and he knew of other methods that would spare him pain… But not Reno. He pushed the irksome Turk off him and stood up.

"Get up, Reno," he ordered. Reno did so, rubbing his throbbing bottom ruefully. Tseng indicated the chair, expression blank. Reno seemed to get the message and reluctantly bent over it, Tseng and Hojo switching places on his list. Tseng scooped up the belt as he walked to stand behind Reno, positioning himself ready to strike.

"I like my office," he told his subordinate, striking down hard with the leather belt. Reno swore loudly, barely suppressing a cry. "I _don't_ like this one," Tseng continued, striking down again. Reno let out a string of curses, ones he could only have heard if he had been around Cid for far too long. Tseng whacked him again. "I have told you about swearing," he added, before hitting out again. "And I really liked that car." Another whack. Reno howled out, unable to think of any other time one area of his body had hurt so much. "The men's toilets had _just_ been redecorated." Another crack, another plaintive cry. "Rude's going to need counselling after finding you naked on top of him when he woke."

"Argh!" Reno wailed as he was belted again. I don't even remember that!"

"You don't remember any of it," Tseng reminded him, cracking the belt again. Reno screamed out but didn't try to comment. Tseng didn't seem to like the sound of his voice right now… "Finding you naked in my bathtub wasn't exactly the highlight of my day either," Tseng added, striking down with the belt again. "Oh… And Barbara called. She wants to know what day to hold the wedding after your engagement last night…" The belt cracked for a final time.

"En-ARGH!-gagement!?" Reno exclaimed. Tseng handed him his belt.

"You sort it out," he muttered. "And get dressed. We've seen enough of you today as it is."

There was a knock at the door as Reno finished pulling up his trousers. Tseng called out and Elena entered.

"Um… There's a strange woman downstairs… Calls herself 'Barbara'. She's demanding her…'Cookie Lips'."

"Off you go, Reno," Tseng ordered, not looking at him. Reno glanced up, noting the look in his eyes as he gazed at Elena, who was returning the look.

"_So that's why I'm not his type…_" He thought, highly relieved. It appeared Tseng liked blonde haired, blue eyed _girls_.

"Reno, Barbara's waiting," Tseng cut in. "Oh and after that, the men's toilets could use some…Refurbishment." Reno shuddered and left the office, wincing as his trousers brushed against his bottom and his head thudded.

"_Urgh… I need a drink…_"

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**A/N _Yes, Reno enjoys being naked when drunk. That's his thing ^^ Hope you all enjoyed it. Any comments or critisicms, you know what to do :) That's all for now, folks :(_**


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